This blog is my story. My story of my acceptance at what I chose. We all go through such a path once where we question our choices. But in the end, it all falls in place. At least for me it did.
After I completed my post grad, I had asked for few years from my mom to live my life and earn good money before I chose to settle down. My mom gave me that time. I was doing wonderful at my job and personal life was going great. But when I was the last of all my cousins left to get married, my mom wanted me to consider marriage seriously. I was 27 already by now and she was panicking- a typical mom trait you see. And finally, ho gai meri shadi.
With the rigmarole of life and work, things moved smoothly and one fine day I came to know I am expecting. My husband and I started preparing for the child and saving as much as we could for the baby. Quitting my job was never on our mind. Working post baby was always the thing for us. My mother-in-law had confirmed she would help me manage the child once I resume work.
But as my delivery time came close, my mother-in-law lost her one kidney. She was hospitalized and not in a good shape. Things looked bleak. In a month’s time I delivered, and I knew I had to make a tough choice. My husband and I sat and did a lot of thinking before I finally put in my resignation at work.
Now I am a full-time mother and a daughter in law nursing her ailing mother-in-law. It was hard for me. I felt a void growing within me and gradually it was turning into a big bubble. I had to give up on my job, my income and stay at home. My mind was not settling into it. My mom was more upset that my education was going wasted and my career plans were down the drain.
But as time passed by, I got busier and busier managing the house and gradually started enjoying my time with my daughter. Gradually, I started looking at the brighter side of things. Maybe it was God’s plan to make sure I am around my daughter to give her the right upbringing. To be there with her in all her “first times”. I went back to my books in my free time. One hobby that had gone sideline after marriage. I revived it. I got back to reading and how. I didn’t spare a minute of free time and would pick a book to read.
Now I am a mom of two. Yes, I am still bounded by my mommy duties, and I must be around my kids all the time. They are my priority, and everything comes after them. I can’t leave my house at my own will, and I can spend time alone as I want to. But am I happy? Yes, I am.
I chose this path after much deliberation. I thank God that we were not in such a condition that me quitting the job would have brought financial burden to my husband. I thank God that I was and will be there for my kids all the time. I thank God that my husband stood by me in my tough times and gave me the space when I needed while he took over the duties. I thank God that my kids have grown right so far validating all the time and effort I have spent on them to be a Good Mom.
I have been asked many a times If I miss going to office and my financial independence. I reply, I earn as a freelancer. But the best thing that I earn as a stay-at-home mom is the numerous hugs and kisses that I get from my kids. No remuneration or compensation can match up to this. I know I am making my kids happy with being around them and I am now content with the choice that I made half-heartedly in the past. It was all about acceptance which came late but it did.