We all have our thoughts and ideas about parenting before we become one. This is because we have seen other parents, new and old and their style of dealing with kids. But we forget that each child is different and what your friend or sister did for her child, is not going to be the same for you.
There are times when kids will not behave the way you want. If the child is too small, you will have sleepless nights and as the child grows, you are going to run around shouting about things not to do. You will feel agitated and irritated with the new changes coming your life. So how do you turn your grief into acceptance?
- It’s ok to feel sad and Angry: End of the day, we are humans with limited physical and mental ability to deal with things and we have our moments of meltdown, frustration and anger. This is very normal, and we need to accept it. All you have to do is take it with a pinch of salt. We all don’t have the best day at work, do we? There are days when the boss is annoyed or the work is not done on time, but you come out of it and move on with your work, right? Likewise, in parenting too you must accept it and move on with it.
- Talk it out: The best way to release our frustration is to talk it out. Confide with someone, your spouse, your own mother or a friend who can hear you out without any biased opinion. Talk to them and be honest with your feelings and accept them. This by any means doesn’t make you a bad parent.
- Appreciate yourself: Parenting is one such job where you would hardly find anyone appreciating your work. No matter how good you are, there is always something that is not perfect for someone else. Its time you take the baton in your own hand and appreciate yourself. You know you are doing your best at being the perfect parent that your child deserves and while the world is busy finding faults, you can surely pat your back and appreciate what you have done. Say some kind and good words to yourself that you would have otherwise said to someone else.
- Hug your little one: “Jadu Ki Jappi”, yes, that magical hug can do wonders for you. When you feel you can’t take it any more or are completely drained, simply hug your child and let the hearts do the talking. Trust me this works like magic as this comes from my personal experience. Your child can understand when you are feeling low, and they will show you the compassion that you may be seeking from someone else.
- Break time: No one can work 24*7 and we also know that parenting works around the clock. There are no brakes. You can be called on duty anytime of the day or night and its always and emergency. But we are humans and our body and mind need time off too. Take breaks- short or big. Ask your partner to take over, and you can either go for a coffee date with your friends, go shopping or simply binge watch Netflix and chill. Any why just short breaks. Take a long break too. Go out of town or a vacation with friends, go for a staycation and detox your mind and relax while swimming in the pool. And if you have a family member who can take care of the child over the weekend, you and your partner can have a romantic break and rejuvenate and rekindle the love that was lost in-between the parenting duties.
Parenting is a completely imperfect world. No one is right and no one is wrong. Everyone has their own situation. It can be overbearing for someone who is doing it all alone and a cakewalk for someone who has an army of staff managing things for them. Don’t be your own judge neither allow anyone else to judge you. You know the best for your child and what’s good for you too. So, treat yourself for being the best parent that you are and raise a toast to yourself.
Also read my blog on How to help kids deal with Stress here.
This blog is a part of Blogchatter’s #halfmarathon