It’s an exuberating feeling when you hold your little baby in your hand for the first time. In my case, while I was still under anesthesia and in waiting till I am shifted to my room, my husband was over the moon with the baby. All joyous and ready to celebrate.
But parenting is not easy, and it has its own sets of emotions, confusion and apprehension too. It’s a life-long commitment and you know it’s going to be a ride you and your spouse will enjoy for life but at the same time it is going to demand a lot of adjustments, compromises and a bunch of understanding between both the partner.
No, by no means I am trying to scare you. I am a mom of two and I can’t stop counting my blessings for the little humans that God blessed me with and the amount of help I got from my husband who is still a hands-on dad. Always ready to take over from me and spend time with our kids.
But yes, as a new parent, we were half prepared. We got some things sorted and planned like making the room spacious to accommodate a new member who is going to eventually capture the entire space for him/herself, booking the hospital beds in advance so that you get a good discount and being ready with our hospital bag and keeping the family in loop so when I am in the labor room and my husband is pacing the corridors, there is someone in family who is setting the things in motion for the new baby to come. But the real fun begins once the baby is home for which we were not thoroughly prepared.
It’s a drill in the beginning. Wake up, feed, clean, burb and make the baby sleep again. In between all this, you feel exhausted, drained and at times bursting with emotions and tears due to the sleepless nights.
It’s a daunting task to manage a new baby but when its teamwork, you and your spouse both will have fun in this journey of parenthood.
So dear fathers, while moms are going to experience a lot of changes in their life and body, you as a spouse and father will have to be ready to embrace these changes.
So let’s see what are they and how you can handle them;
Breastfeeding: While breastfeeding is a blessing bestowed only upon the mother, it can be stressful and painful at times specially in the beginning. But this is a mother’s solo job and as a father you don’t have much to do here but post breastfeeding, you can surely help. Take the baby and walk around and make it burp while the mother can relax a bit after sitting for a longer time. Also, if the baby is on expressed bottle milk or top feed, you can surely take over this duty which will give your partner some respite.
Hormones: The baby is out but the hormones are still raging. From depression to crying for no reason, feeling drained and emotional and fighting over small things, your woman will experience it all. So be prepared. While one is on a hormonal ride, you can stay calm and positive and help her deal with her issues rather than arguing over the changed behavior.
Weight Loss: It took nine months for the uterus to stretch so that it can hold the baby. It’s not a balloon which will deflate once the baby is out. It takes time to shed the baby weight and as a new mom, your spouse will need time from her new duties to commit time to herself. So be understanding and appriciate the body. Don’t be amazed by the immediate body change you see in celebrity moms. They have their own means and a lot of help to manage the child while they concentrate on themselves.
Don’t refuse any help: If your parents are ready to cook a meal, let them do it. If your friends offer to bring dinner while coming over, accept it. If your sister is willing to look after the baby while you both can have some couple time, grab the offer without any qualms. And most importantly don’t refuse any offer to grab a nap.Â
Listen: As a new parent, you and your spouse will be given a lot of advice by parents and elders, friends and family and while you may listen to them, don’t forget that the most important person whom you need to hear is the mother of the baby. Encourage her to tell you how she is feeling and if there is anything she needs. Likewise, even she will listen to you and your needs. You get the best results when you work in a team.Â
Pickup from where your partner left: Parenting is a laborious 24*7 job and don’t expect your partner to conquer it all at the house front with a baby in tow. If there is no dinner made, order food or you can take the baton in your hand and cook up a nice meal. If the laundry, dishes or the dusting work is piled up, you can pick up the slack whenever you can.
Night Duty: While the baby wakes up in the middle of the night for feed, you may not be able to do much here, but you can surely help if the baby is on a bottle feed. Also, taking the baby in and out of the crib, changing the diaper and walking it around to burp and sleep can help you ease a lot of your partner’s burden.Â
Stay healthy: If you are fit and healthy, you will be able to help your partner in the best possible way. Make sure you eat well and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Go for a jog or work out at home. Keep yourself energized and positive.
Becoming a dad is one of the biggest events your life and as a dad you are going to have a huge impact on your child’s life. And you can start working on it from the start. Newborn comes into this world ready to connect with both the parents, mom and dad.
This blog is part of Blogchatter Half Marathon Stay tuned for some more fun topics and don’t forget to drop a comment if you liked what you read here.
26 replies on “Entering Fatherhood? Here is how you can be prepared for it- A father’s guide to survival.”
My son in law would have loved to see this article last year. He is now the proud father of a 10-month-old! I am glad to see someone focus on the fathers!
It’s a new phase for fathers too and even they need to be well prepared, I am happy you have shared this detailed post which is going to help many of the to-be dads!!
Fatherhood is a new experience. Alike a new mother, new dads also go through many changes. And to make the parenting journey smooth, they have to work as a team. Among all the point, the one which touched my heart is Pickup from where your partner left.
I agree parenting is most beautiful journey of life but it is equally challenging too. I am glad you have specifically talked about father’s role in this journey, in this post and shared some great tips for fathers to help their better half in best possible way.
Fatherhood often gets overshadowed but is one of the most endearing things. Being there for the mother, emotionally and physically, would help in better bonding too.
Most people forget that when a child is born, a mother and also a father is born. There are so many duties that a father can take up and help in parenting.
Fatherhood is also the most beautiful phase. Though as a father they feel scared. They are so many duties which they have to do as a father and before doing it they feel scares. I am glad my kid’s father is doing all the responsibilities very nicely
I have read so many posts from a mother’s perspective however, very few from a father’s point of view on this topic. Absolutely loved reading this, equal parenting starts from day one.
Hats off to you to dear to think about creating such a vital document a must read by every dad. I found this post perfect.
Women are born mothers I feel and men slowly learn to accept the role of being fathers. Actually when you see your own child and hold for the first time the emotions and feelings give birth to a father too. It’s the life that two people create together which is loved by both.
entering into fatherhood can be a drastic change for men. It is that final transition of a boy into a man. But I guess nowadays guys too transition naturally. My husband was pretty adjusting and did every help I asked for.
Fatherhood is lovely and often not given the credit that is due. You offer wonderful tips and tricks to those entering fatherhood, making this post the best father’s guide to survival. I’ll forward this post to a lot of expecting fathers.
A comprehensive guide for first-time fathers. But good to see many fathers taking up the duty of a father quite enthusiastically these days.
Fatherhood is an amazing journey, just like motherhood. It can be overwhelming too. This guide is very helpful for new dads.
This article can be so very helpful for all the to be father’s or newbies. Fatherhood starts getting the day one and now people are understanding that parenting is not just mothers taking care bye father getting involved in every small things too. Wonderful post.
This article can be very helpful for all the to be fathers or newbies. Entering into fatherhood can be a drastic change for men too. Fathers also experience conflicting emotions following the birth of their children. First and foremost, the birth of a child brings with it an overwhelming, all-consuming love, unlike anything we have ever known.
Totally. Just like mother’s, even father’s experience a lot of emotions
This is going to be a wonderful guide to all new fathers. And also equal parenting is beneficial for childs development
Absolutely đŸ’¯
I am so glad you wrote about this. There are many resources to prepare a mother but not many well researched resources for fathers. This is such an interesting take on Fatherhood. It’s something that the new age dads must read .
Normally we get to read guides for moms but never for dads. This is one of its kind. Much helpful for the new dads
When a child is born, it is both the mother and father who have responsibilities and it is new to both of them. This is a very informative post and it is so useful for the new fathers.
Like we mothers experience a whole new world, its a new experience for the fathers as well. Like the way you have shared your thoughts.
Righly said, parenting is a team effort. I am glad you wrote on the topic that focuses on new fathers ( otherwise its always the survival guide for mothers) . Sharing this with one of my male friend who recently became a dad.
When it comes to parenthood, the whole universe tilts towards the mother, and why not. But, taking note of father’s efforts and health is usually neglected. This is a great post, Hansa and I absolutely agree to each pointer.
[…] Also read: Entering Fatherhood? Here is how you can be prepared for it – A Fathers guide to survival […]