Just like us adults, kids too have their down times or times when they feel really stressed, angered and aggressive. We as parents get really worked up when we see our kids in such a state but the most important thing to do here is to acknowledge what your child is feeling and also understand that even though they are kids, they too have emotions and at times they need to vent it out.
Stress in kids can be due to many reasons and can also crop from anxiety and fear of maybe going to a new place, new school, being between unknown people, going away from parents or their nanny or simply worrying about their changing body or something as trivial as a something of theirs is lost or broken.
Your child may start hitting someone or oneself in anger, break something or yell back at you. These are some of the ways they think of when they want to vent but parents have to deal with this in a better way. Show faith in your child, be supportive, show love care and warmth towards them as this is the time when they need your attention the most.
I’ve had such episodes with my two kids when either of my two kids has been annoyed over anything or anyone and to deal with such situations, I have some techniques and methods that I follow and I would love to share it here with you.
- Music: Music can have a great effect on your mood so if your child is stressed, play a soothing music and as he/she calms down, play a fun number and get dancing.
2. Let them sit alone: Allow your child to sit alone and think and ponder upon their emotion and come back when they feel better. Make sure they are sitting in a comfort place.
3. Paint: Painting can not only help you focus but also help you destress. Painting and drawing are also a great way to express ones emotions.
4. Blow bubbles: With bubble blowing, your child will not only have fun but it also helps in regulating their breathing.
5. Dip in the water: Nothing can calm down the body like a nice shower. Put your child in the tub, drop in some toys and see them unwind and relax.
6. Count backwards: Counting backwards helps in focusing and also offer additional concentration challenge to them which will help them forget something that has been bothering them.
7. Shake a glitter jar: You get ample of ideas for DIY glitter jars making on pinterest. Make a jar at home with your child and when the child is annoyed or angry, give it to them. It’s a stress buster and will allow the body to relax and reset.
8. Talk it out: Kids who can talk and share their feelings, ask them to talk it out as this not only relieves them but also allows them to process the matter once again as they speak.
9. Hug: Nothing can work better than a warm hug. Hug your child and let him/her rest on you while they calm down.
10. Play with slime or clay: Slime or clay can help relax. The tactile feeling of playing with slime and clay can give a temporary distraction from stress and emotions and it can also be very calming to the mind. Some doctors even use Slime Therapy to deal with depression and stress.
11. Write it out: If your kid is older, ask them to maintain a journal where they can jot down their feelings and emotions. Get them a nice diary or a book and tell them you will never read it. So they can be free with their thoughts without the fear of being read.
12. Push against a wall: When the child is really stressed and wants to vent it out, ask them to push the wall. In a futile attempt to push the wall, the muscles will contract and then relax as it releases the feel good hormones.
13. Give a tennis ball massage: Roll a tennis ball on your childs back mainly neck, shoulder and lower back area as these are the main spots of stress and tension. Massage for 5 to 10 minutes and ask you child to keep their eyes closed.
14. Roll a ping-pong ball on the feet: Rolling a ping-pong ball will hit the pressure points on your childs feet that help relax the muscles of the feet and legs.
15. Yell: Sometimes the feelings of your child can be very overwhelming and strong and the best way to get rid of them is to aks your child to stand on their toes, hands wide apart and yell, passing all the tension from their feet to their upper torso and out of their mouth.
I personally have been following these techniques for my kids and the best one that works for my daughter is to talk it out while my son likes to be left alone either to paint or play. Since both my kids love water, even a nice shower has worked in their case. By this I mean to say that every child is different and different ways can work on them to calm their nerves.
As a parent, be a good example for your child while dealing with your own stress and anger. Because kids learn from what they see. Lead a healthy lifestyle, keep communication flowing and open in the family, be active physically as these are some ways by which you can avoid stress and anger within yourself and your child.
I hope you find this helpful in some way and if you have any view and opinions to share, do let me know in the comments below. Also, you may like to read my article on https://mummatalks.blog/2019/10/03/to-hit-or-not-to-hit-parenting-style/ which again talks about how as parents we can deal with our kids with a positive approach and attitude.
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