Women have a tendency to prioritize their family and children followed by house and office work, neglecting the care and attention they need to pay on themselves. While all the above roles and duties require women to be on their feet, they need to remember that one cannot fill a glass from an empty Jar. Self-care and paying attention to your own needs can never be selfish and its time we all acknowledge that without any guilt.
I am a stay at home mom and at times things get overwhelming for me, specially during this lockdown times when my husband had to be at work and I was managing the show alone at home with 2 kids in tow. But then I started setting out rules, which included “Me Time” and thankfully both my kids and husband not only acknowledged it but also made sure that I get to relax and have a break.
Below I am sharing some of the ways that I have used to make life simpler, better and enjoyable for me without being burdened to finish things and please people at my cost.
Self-care is not being Selfish: Firstly women should realize that self-care is not being selfish. A child will love you even if you made him a sandwich for dinner and not something healthier. Your husband will love you even if you didn’t do the laundry for the day. So don’t rush to manage the house and keep it spic and span while your own physical health and mental peace is suffering. Because, gradually you will start feeling a victim of your own act and it will hold you back from living a rich and content life. I believe it’s a happy home when the entire family is happy, other things take a backseat for me. And to keep my family happy, I make sure I am happy and content with my life.
Remove toxic people and create your own support system: It’s always better to be away from things and people that drain you out and dampen your growth. Don’t hand over the strings of your life to anyone else who can play with you like a puppet. Take charge of your life. Work till your body and mind allows and don’t drain yourself to make others happy. Also, build a group of people around you who appreciate you and the work that you do. This support will allow you to do better as a person. I’ve small group of close friends whom I can count on my fingers but these handful of people are enough to keep me happy.
Learn to say no:The one thing that we should learn to do is say “No” when things go beyond your capacity. Why commit your time, money and efforts on something you are not willing to do. Saying “no” is self care habit, which can do wonders for mental heath and inner peace. This has helped me personally to draw a line and others now know when they have to stop expecting from me. We don’t need to be rude when declining. A simple polite “no” can help you in the long run to lead a life where everyone is happy.
Spending time alone: In 24 hours in a day, after all the work you do and time, spare some time for your self as well. Sip a cup of coffee alone, read a few pages of book in peace or take a hot shower, what ever relaxes and rejuvenates you, do it. I personally have set out afternoon time as “mammas times” where my kids are told to play alone in their room while I read, watch TV or simply nap. The best part is now even my kids understand that mom needs time off and do not disturb me. Reading is what I love to do and I make sure I read every night before I go off to sleep.
We all speak about self-care but do not implement it all the time. We drain our selves to serve others but our body, mind and heart need to be looked after too. Dance it out, sing, paint, go for a spa, coffee dates with friends or just pull your blanket over your head and snooze off. But make sure, you love and respect yourself above everything else.