Women have a tendency to prioritize their family and children followed by house and office work, neglecting the care and attention they need to pay on themselves. While all the above roles and duties require women to be on their feet, they need to remember that one cannot fill a glass from an empty Jar. Self-care and paying attention to your own needs can never be selfish and its time we all acknowledge that without any guilt.
I am a stay at home mom and at times things get overwhelming for me, specially during this lockdown times when my husband had to be at work and I was managing the show alone at home with 2 kids in tow. But then I started setting out rules, which included “Me Time” and thankfully both my kids and husband not only acknowledged it but also made sure that I get to relax and have a break.
Below I am sharing some of the ways that I have used to make life simpler, better and enjoyable for me without being burdened to finish things and please people at my cost.
Self-care is not being Selfish: Firstly women should realize that self-care is not being selfish. A child will love you even if you made him a sandwich for dinner and not something healthier. Your husband will love you even if you didn’t do the laundry for the day. So don’t rush to manage the house and keep it spic and span while your own physical health and mental peace is suffering. Because, gradually you will start feeling a victim of your own act and it will hold you back from living a rich and content life. I believe it’s a happy home when the entire family is happy, other things take a backseat for me. And to keep my family happy, I make sure I am happy and content with my life.
Remove toxic people and create your own support system: It’s always better to be away from things and people that drain you out and dampen your growth. Don’t hand over the strings of your life to anyone else who can play with you like a puppet. Take charge of your life. Work till your body and mind allows and don’t drain yourself to make others happy. Also, build a group of people around you who appreciate you and the work that you do. This support will allow you to do better as a person. I’ve small group of close friends whom I can count on my fingers but these handful of people are enough to keep me happy.
Learn to say no:The one thing that we should learn to do is say “No” when things go beyond your capacity. Why commit your time, money and efforts on something you are not willing to do. Saying “no” is self care habit, which can do wonders for mental heath and inner peace. This has helped me personally to draw a line and others now know when they have to stop expecting from me. We don’t need to be rude when declining. A simple polite “no” can help you in the long run to lead a life where everyone is happy.
Reuse is not permitted
Spending time alone: In 24 hours in a day, after all the work you do and time, spare some time for your self as well. Sip a cup of coffee alone, read a few pages of book in peace or take a hot shower, what ever relaxes and rejuvenates you, do it. I personally have set out afternoon time as “mammas times” where my kids are told to play alone in their room while I read, watch TV or simply nap. The best part is now even my kids understand that mom needs time off and do not disturb me. Reading is what I love to do and I make sure I read every night before I go off to sleep.
We all speak about self-care but do not implement it all the time. We drain our selves to serve others but our body, mind and heart need to be looked after too. Dance it out, sing, paint, go for a spa, coffee dates with friends or just pull your blanket over your head and snooze off. But make sure, you love and respect yourself above everything else.
This blog is a part of #LBWP- Lets Blog with Pri Season 2. Also check out blogs written by my fellow mom bloggers Nupur and Seema.
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33 replies on “Love yourself to love others”
Well said Hansa! Until we are happy we won’t be able to make anyone happy. Me time in any form we like is very important to keep our sanity and our hearts full.
A Must read post for all mothers who kind of forget over a period of time that they need to be a bit selfish as well sometimes
[…] hop on to the train and read what my fellow bloggers Hansa (Mumma Talks) and Amritha (The Mumma Startup) are writing […]
The hardest one – by far – is learning to say no! Loved this post, it’s an important reminder that we can not pour from an empty cup.
true the its the hardest part but i think women sold start saying it now.
Lovely post.
thank you for stopping by and reading it.
I’m following all of the above. Because I realized a few years ago that my life isn’t over just because I got a child. It has just begun.
thats awesome. I had too drained my self enough before i realised that i need to stop now.
Fantastic blog post! I say this to everyone I know, self-care is not being selfish. But people just don’t seem to get it. It’s a lot to do with the way they have brought us up. We also saw our parents sacrificing and not taking care of themselves. Articles like yours bring in a fresh and realistic perspective. Thank you for posting this :). Keep writing !
Such an important lesson for us all. We need to have that love and self worth to spread it and the positivity
thanks a lot dear. Being a women, i think its time we all stand up and speak up and gone are the days of women just enduring for the sake of others. while we continue loving others, we should not stop loving ourselves too.
Self love is important and who can know better than me. Running behind two kids and doing housechore , its not easy to manage it all. Try to take break from routine work
Wow that’s such a lovely writeup and yeah we would indulge in self love time to time
I truly believe in what you have shared through this Blog post. Self love is paramount in loving the World you are born into. But we often are hard on ourselves & forget self care while fulfilling our duties.
Ah! You touched an important aspect of women’s lives – Self Love that is underrated. As a woman, we cater to the interests of the family before putting ourselves first. I too wrote a piece on the same issue some time back, have a look:
https://aditikapur.com/2019/08/09/why-do-i-need-me-time/
w ur blog and its nice that we women through our blogs are trying to make other women relies thats its never selfish to love one selves and we come first.
Self love is really important. If we are happy ourselves we would have the energy and inclination to give our best.
Spending time with self , is relaxing. We can talk and hear what we actually want rather than just fulfilling everybodies requirements.
I agree with you – self care and time for ourselves is almost always the last point on our to do lists! I wish I was like you, and made time everyday. Something i should definitely try to do.
indeed you should. coz once you do it regularly, people around you will also start accepting it. Take a break and relax. we all have our hands full but we cant forget ourselves.
Its a well written post I must say. Its a must read post for especially moms out there who always work for others needs.
Self love isn’t necessarily bad you know. Your happiness shouldn’t really be dictated by others. Do what makes you truly happy. It’s one life after all 🙂
Self Love is something that I truly believe in. We may be moms, wives, DILS, or assume any other role but firstly we are individuals with aspirations, desires and we deserve to valued for our-self. I completely agree with all the above points.
All the points are so true. Removing toxic people around is very necessary to get the positive vibes in life . And practicing to say no is also important.
Saying no is an art and the best thing that you can learn.. it takes so much load away from you
removing toxic people who give unnecessary stress is the first thing to do. I have done too and feel much better now. You have mentioned such good points here.
Such a nice post. Also. all important points you have mentioned. To lead a happy and stress free life is not possible always, but removing toxic people, having me time and saying NO to things works a lot.
I too try to implement these things in life.
You have raised a valid point. We do everything to keep others happy but are we happy from inside. Very nice post and it made my day.
Well done completely agree that self care is not selfish. However when you are taking care of a big household, even applying cream on face is looked upon with raised eyebrows.
Indeed! We have to love our-self first before we can truly love anyone else. And yes we should learn to say no when things go beyond our capacity. Thanks for sharing this amazing article
Definitely some valid points. I agree with self care and creating a support system for ourselves. I wish more and more of us could understand this.
You said it right, self-care is not selfish. I feel we need to keep on reminding ourselves of the “me time” Being a homemaker, I struggle with this a lot, but Your post has pushed me to practice self-care a little. Gonna do it today. Thanks!