We sometimes hear parents say that “They are unable to control their child” and that they are frustrated as their child doesn’t listen to their orders and commands.
But tell me what are we and who are our children? Is this relation that of a Boss and an employee? Are kids meant to be imposed and commanded upon? Is it really becoming a power struggle for parents?
Like us adults, kids too don’t like when they are imposed with too many rules, demands, orders and guidelines. From the time they are born, some parents already decide what they kids have to do as they grow up and how are they suppose to live their life.
But remember, any relation, which has restrictions and power struggle, can never be enjoyable, be it parent and a child, boss and an employee or husband and wife. No one likes control and domination.
With your child, it should not be about power struggle but more about “Emotional Connect”. Understanding their emotional and mental needs and their abilities and desires is what makes you a good parent. so “Spend time” with your child and try to understand them.
Being a parent, you should “Listen” to your child’s issues. Allow them to express their frustrations by lending them an ear. Speak to them daily and allow them to express their sadness, anger, emotions and disappointments. Also, be “Flexible” with your ways of doing things. Its not always necessary that things can be done just one way or your way. Kids and young adults have their own way of doing things so allow them to try it out. “Explain” your reasoning. Some time your child needs to know and understand the reason behind something being said. So explain yourself.
As a parent you are the matured one and are expected to show more patience while you hear your child out, thoughtfulness while you guide, self control when you feel angry and understanding and calmness when conflicts arise. Don’t show your frustrations. Kids need more positivity around them and our frustrations can do no good to them.
So stop think your kid’s life is in your hands and they have to live as per your experiences. Because not all experiences can be same. What you may have experienced may be completely different for your child. Times have changed and the environment in which our kids are being raised has changed. Parenting is not about setting expectations but to genuinely seeing your child grow in their own special way. So next time, remember, instead of saying “ I am the adult so you should listen to me”think and say“I am the adult so I should listen and understand my child first”.
All we have to do is see things from our kids perceptive at times. Shift the gear, and you will understand what your child is feeling. Stop taking the entire control of your childs life and choices in your hand because you think you have better experience.Not all experiences can have the same result. What you may have experienced may be completely different for your child. Times have changed and the environment in which our kids are being raised has changed too. So next time, remember, instead of saying “ I am the adult so you should listen to me”think and say“I am the adult so I should listen and understand my child first”.
Lets make this interactive. Let me know in the comments below how are you as a parent. Is it a power struggle or is it listening and understanding?
12 replies on “The Power Struggle”
Really important topic dear. This needs more content and voice from other parent blogger tool
Indeed! It is important for parents to spend quality time with children. Spending time with and meeting them where they are at is crucial to our children’s healthy development. Thanks for sharing.
As they say parents indeed need to become their children’s friends. My aunt is a perfect example in front of me, I have never shown any power or have never even scolded her kids or any other kids for that matter, but all the kids listen to her and understand what she says and follows. Such an amazing lady.
Power struggles between parents and children and adults themselves is never an easy one. Navigating minds and emotions to build a relationship through all that u mentioned is key
This is a very relatable post as a mom. It’s important to understand what kids are going through by talking to them.
This is a really good post! All parents and would be parents should read this! Kids are individuals as well…
Very helpful and informative post for all parents out them.
It is very important to know and play the role of parent.
I had a very difficult time making my parents fully realise that they need to look beyond academics and that a child needs to nurture other things in life like sports, music, etc. The power struggle was very real in my case. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake in case of my children 😊
My family believed in power struggle but I am making a change with my kids. They can express themselves and even pinpoint our mistakes as parents
Building a friendship with children is never easy, while you need to correct, teach, and create a civic adult, you have to be their friend too. Is a paradox!!! But is totally possible with a lot of patience and love!! Great article dear.
True. Thank a lot 🤗
You are welcome dear