Being a parent is not easy we all know that and it also comes with various choices and ways that you can raise your kid with. Every one has his/her own parenting style which they think is apt for their kids. So ideally one cannot say that yes this is the right thing to do and this is wrong. Like every kid is not the same, likewise there are different ways and approaches to deal with the kid.
Today I am writing about something that has affected me very badly. I had once raise my hands on my kids and it has left a very bad impact on my mind. Coz after that I felt that by doing so I just gave pain to my kids and end of it I was the one who was very disturbed by doing so. I have had sleepless nights after that where I have just been thinking why was there a need for me to hurt my kids to make them understand something when I could have just spoken it up. Yes raising your voice to show your authority is right I feel. I do give 3 warnings and for the 4th time I raise my voice if they dont listen to me. But when you are alone and with kids throughout the day, everyday, things can sometimes get on to you.
I have from that day been trying a lot to hold on to my temper. I let them make the mess. End of the day they are kids and thats what they are meant to do. And if I feel I cant handle a situation, I ask my husband to takeover and I just move away. Thats when my husband in his own way manages the kids or will take them out so that I get some time to calm down. The other thing I have been practicing is to count and remind my self to watch my actions. Every time I feel angry, I tell my self, use your voice..not the hand..
I reason I am sharing this is coz as I mentioned earlier, it has been haunting me that I had once raise my hand on my kids and I am still not able to come out of that thought though it has been months now, it has still been affecting my mind a lot. I even spoke to my husband about it and the best I am doing is just keeping a watch on my own self and how I am reacting to my kids. Because giving pain to anyone, specially kids is not what you want and I really feel disturbed by my own act.
7 replies on “To Hit or Not To Hit- Parenting Style”
Take care Hansa. I would say try using these lines “my kids love me and they need me to understand them” . It has worked wonders for me with Vaidik. Hope it helps you too
I totally understand you as a fellow mother… Hitting is an instant reaction of the build up irritation as soon as you vent it out you realize that it was not at all required…. I have had a hell lot of patience with almost anything before being a mother… But I loose it with him.. what I always tell to myself is “you have had patience to deal with other people’s shit, what of this virtue for if not for your own so”
I don’t believe in hitting but a whack or two on their bums is something that many of us have benefited from. 😄
Hitting the kids really is disturbing for us, but things go out of our control sometimes and even we need that break. I also hit Avisha once when she had become very cranky and still feel really guilty about it.
No hit, definitely no hit, hitting the kids also risks in shelling their minds which I have seen. It can also result in lack of motivation which is not good for kids.
Hitting kids often make them repeat the action on others too I have noticed. So it is better not to hit a child.
I know I am harsh on my little one. But like you said its me who needs to control and understand mine and my son’s emotions. Like you I try and keep calm as much as I can